February 22nd, 2019

To: All Polish-speaking staff

Вспомнил старый баян.

To: All Polish Speaking Staff
Subject: Improper Language Usage
Importance: High

It has been brought to our attention by several managers and also officials visiting our offices that polish language is
commonly used by our polish speaking staff. Such behavior is violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive
to both visitors and staff. All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:

Words like jebał to pies, kurewska robota, chuj, kurwa and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for
emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.
You will not say spierdolił when someone makes a mistake, or pocałujcie mnie w dupe if you see someone being
reprehended, or gówno when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb srać and jebać are utterly
inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment.

No manager, section head administrator, supervisor or member of staff under any circumstances will be referred to as
chuj, zajebaniec or pierdolony debil.
Lack of determination will not be referred to as srać or olać nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as pedal.
Creative ideas offered by management are not to be referred to as pierdoły or pojebane pomysły.
Do not say idz sie jebać if somebody is persistent, do not add pojeb, if a colleague is going through a difficult situation.
Furthermore, you must not say zjebaliśy to (refer to item 2) nor wyjebiemy się na tym when a matter becomes excessively
When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say spierdalaj na drzewo nor should you ever substitute "May I help you?" with "Czego kurwa chcesz!?".
Under no circumstances should you ever call your industrial partners kurewski dostawca or pierdolony DCF!
Do not say idzcie do pizdy z tym chujem when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer odpierdolcie się ode mnie or metrowy chuj ci w dupe when your assistance is required.
You should never call partner representatives as zajebana swinia or kurewski debil.
The normal behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms such as pizda jebana, kurewskie bydle or chujowy pedał.

Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say moga sobie wsadzic to w dupę!

Please keep hard copy for your records and information.
Thank you and best regards

И вдруг обнаружил к нему секретный протокол, короткий, но даже смешнее исходного документа.

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